If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you, son
I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me...

He's got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
Foes that wanna make sure his casket's closed
Rap critics who say he's “Money, Cash, Hoes"
He's from the hood, stupid, what type of facts are those?
If you grew up with holes in your zapatos
You're celebratin' the minute you was havin' dough
So like fuck critics: You can kiss our whole asshole
If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast-forward
Got beef with radio if I don't play they show
They don't play our hits-well I don't give a shit, so
All these mags tryin' use our ass
So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads
Fuckers, I don't know what you take us as
Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
From rags to riches, we ain't dumb
I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

Ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one
If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you, son
I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one

Year's 94 and my trunk is raw,
And in my rear view mirror is the motha' fuckin' law.
Got two choices y'all, pull over the car, or,
Bounce on the devil, put the pedal to the floor.
An' I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jay,
And I got a few dollars so I can fight the case,
So I pull over to the side of the road,
I heard, Son, do you know what I'm stoppin' you for
"Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low
Do I look like a mind reader sir? I don't know
Hey, am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'
Well you were doin' 55 in a fifty-four...
License and registration and step outta the car
Are you carryin' a weapon on you, I know a lotta you are!
I ain't stepping outta shit, all my paper's legit!
Well do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?
Well my glove compartment's locked, so's the trunk in back,
And I know my rights, so you're gonna need a warrant for that! Heh.
Aren't you sharp as a tack? You do some kinda law or something,
Somebody important or somethin'?
Huh, I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit,
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit!
Well we'll see how smart you are when the canines crawl.

I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one!
Hit me!

Ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one!
If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you, son
I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me!

Ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one!
If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you, son
I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me!

Ninety-nine problems, but a bitch ain't one!
If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you, son
I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one

Now once upon a time not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strong arm a hoe